thetrivialpur

Originally published at The Trivial Pursuit of Happiness. Please leave any comments there.

In one of the online communities I read today, a soon-to-be father asked how he could stand by and watch his wife go through a natural labor, because “I can’t imagine a more unpleasant experience than standing helpless while wife has to go through excruciating pain.” I wish Tom was home so that I could ask him how he felt during labor, but I know we have talked about it before. His journey from “Stand outside and hand out cigars” to “Sit behind Ivory in the bathtub and let her push with all of her strength against me, while telling her she is beautiful even though she is crying” was not a short one. One day I will try and create the narrative of it, but for now, I am just in awe of how much I love my husband. After I commented to the poster, I dug out the photos of the labor (which were thankfully saved on a disk, since I have had three blue-screens-of-death since then) and couldn’t help but cry – sure, some of it is the pregnancy hormones, but really, I am just amazed that he took that leap of faith and completely left his comfort zone to give me the comfort I needed. Looking at these pictures, I do not remember the pain, the effort, the fear – I just remember feeling so loved.

To support someone, even when you are scared, because you trust them and know that they need you – that is love. To wrap your body around theirs, and give them all of your strength – that is love. Tom and I walked away from Ella’s birth not only suddenly a family, but also a stronger couple. I have no fear about this coming birth, because I trust my body, and I know that I will not be alone.

(Just because I could not end this post without proving that we are sometimes kind of cute (though Tom does always need to shave.))